10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear