10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.