10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.