10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.