10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.