10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson