10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright