10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.