10 Random Poker Quotes

• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.