10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion