10 Random Poker Quotes

• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!