10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo