10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.