10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Why not, when some because there are three.