10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"