10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."