10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.