10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."