10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.