10 Random Poker Quotes

• Fold and live to fold again
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!