10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event