10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.