10 Random Poker Quotes

• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."