10 Random Poker Quotes

• "No river, no fish."
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers