10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.