10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?