10 Random Poker Quotes

• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus