10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.