10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician