10 Random Poker Quotes

• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe