10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.