10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.