10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.