10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth