10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Fook the floosh droo!