10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."