10 Random Poker Quotes

• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus