10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "Give me running 10's boy!!" Mike Laing - after CALLING 78K with 10-8 on a board of K22
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."