10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Welcome to kicker school
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"