10 Random Poker Quotes

• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "No river, no fish."