10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Welcome to kicker school
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus