10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth