10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword