10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."