10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant