10 Random Poker Quotes

• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.