10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."