10 Random Poker Quotes

• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.