10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!