10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus